Friday, March 13, 2009

my eyedrops are fine, you guys.

Now that my blog has taken the blogosphere somewhat by storm I'm dealing with what I always heard about-- you know, things getting out of control with comments getting taken out of context and with mistaken identity(see below). Soon, I'm sure to go along with my famous status I'll have to get a stalker to come along or if they don't I'll invent one. My webmaster, alisa, is going through that now. Some poorly parented womyn who was forced to drop out in the 9th grade after not being able to ace the 9th grade after 3 attempts. As this womyn says in an 'interview" with the defunct and disgraced LA CITYBEAT under the tiresome and funnily short lived supervision of rebecca shoenkopf and as reported to the unethically employed Tom Sharpe: This unfortunate soul also can't control her bladder in a major way. Notaro is a caucasian with enough money to hire the inept but costly lavely and singer... so I mean.... what's her excuse????
Still, she claims to help out the white people of Pass Christian(Whatever!!) and she claims all kinds of other things and my progressive so not republican soul wants to embrace this sad lost sister.

Alisa on the other hand was started her first year of college at 17 years old and was well parented and therefore has "entitlement issues." According to Alisa's entitled but divine mom, alisa not only had superior bladder control but incredibly preturnatural bowel mastery. Alisa's magnificent (yet bragging) mother only had to tell her once to use the loo(I'm part British, remember?) rather than the diaper and since then alisa has only once shown bladder vulnerability when she laughed too hard.

This emotionally, mentally, spiritually, philosophically, aesthetically, and bladder control challenged womyn is named "tig" notaro and she makes my progressive liberal heart break. The fact that she changed her name from Mathilde to Tig is precious and fun and Oprahrific and lesbolicious, and I so want to give her the benefit of the doubt against my webmaster, alisa.
It seems that this individual whose birth name is Mathilde Notaro but who now has probably changed it to distance herself from her victimhood on the way to recovery supports Barack Obama and eats raw food, while alisa is a nicotine addict and supported Hillary(that witch!) over obama. and if it werent for the fact that Notaro is a pathological liar who wastes resources I would so be in her corner, you guys. I would even start up a pay pal linked account where I would try to start a legal fund for her as Notoro will need millions of dollars when all is said and done.

I planned to blog about my life coach(who is on the lam btw) and my possible participation in a pastry and salty treats collective but I guess I have to just let myself vent about this issue as this issue made it impossible to get free lodging with alisa when I have to go to L.A. As readers of my blog know I was set to go to L.A yesterday to try to start up a support group for those betrayed by a mercenary life coach and I also was supposed to testify against this life coach. Alisa, my webmaster, lives in L.A and I was supposed to stay with her and save the money on hotels for other fun pursuits and or charity. I wasn't that happy to stay with her for various reasons but mainly because she lives 3 blocks away from an AstroBurger and if and when the santa anna winds blow the smell of burger gets in and nauseates me on physical, emotinional, spiritual, mental, and philosophical levels.

Well, as it turns out the santa anna winds weren't that active this week and everything on that level would have been fine. But, because of this Notaro and her dimwittedly diabolical 2 year old envy issues the place where the guest futon was is is now filled with legal files and Alisa couldn't put me up. So though liberal wise I should feel compassion for this wayward wayward womyn Notaro I just selfishly am fed up with her and her antisocial issues. I know I know... Tarra needs to reread "further open your heart even when it doesn't feel smart" by Leslie Feigin Griffee. I'll keep you guys posted on this matter but I just need to move on.

And, to those who have send wonderful and supportive e-cards to me about this... please, send them to the right person and this is not me and my full plate is prohibiting me from taking the measures one must take when send unearned condolences.
As it stands, I didn't even go to L.A because the life coach jumped bail and is now(I'm sure) trying to ply her wares out of U.S jurisdiction. Maybe in Mexico (San Miguel Allende or someother place where there is a demand for life coaches. )

Damn it to hell my plate is just too full!!!!


Anonymous said...

Effing loving your blog. Keep it up. Condolences on your dog. Hee hee hee.

lyn said...

Tig is a nut. I hate her.