Monday, April 20, 2009

Webmaster issues and her nutty poetry are stuck there for eternity

I accidently posted my webmaster alisa's gobbledygook. I pasted it wrong and there is all kinds of letters that are not meant to be together and it isn't one of those e.e cummings fun experiments with punctuation and grammar things and now Alisa, my webmaster, is yelling at me via text that I've made her look pretentious. I have had ENUFF of her toxicity and after a probiotic shake I'm writing her a very rude letter.

Anywhow, I've been struggling with lifestyle issues since Mr. Bernard Madoff made off with my fortune just about a month ago today.

I was fortunate enough to be one of those womyn who not only never had to eat refined sugars but I used to be wealthy enough to be obese and afford two tickets without the slighest emotional of physical jiggle. I never had to process the concept that at those times when I wrestled with morbid obesity that I literally was as big as two people, sometimes three.
I just forked over the two ticket price and piled both airplane meals on top of eachother and smiled by fat womyn smile as I forked into my food. But, now since I've become indigent due to unforseeable circumstances and have to travel to Los Angeles on occassion this news item concerns me. I'm not yet the size of two whole people. I'm more the size of 1 3/4 ths of a person so I'm panicked as a tight pair of size 22 slacks might still keep my girth from infringing on others space.

As a womyn who's been on the boundary and space bandwagon since it first was introduced by DR. Phil in the mid 90's surely don't want to get into someone's space but as now witnessed by the Susan Boyle wonderfullnes appearances shouldn't be important etc and so I am confused again about exactly how I should proceed: Should I lose enough weight to be "socially acceptable" or should I enjoy my sensual delights and keep up my struggle with guilt feelings over my supposed gluttony? As you guys know, my life coach turned out to be a crook and so I haven't been able to afford much less "let in" a new life coach. I threw out three daily planners already as they are filled with depressingly disjointed scribblings and they just are not leading to any successful path as far as my eye can see.

My life coach is being prosecuted in Los Angeles because according to federal guidelines that is where the "jurisdiction," is. So, I need to go to that hellhole and stay with my webmasteress, alisa, and her family, as I can't afford even motels. That's another story and one I care to tell at another time. It seems that my friends and fans have abandandone poor Tarra as I don't see too many fresh comments since Eyvonne and her gang came by for a looksy. YOu are a tease, Eyevonne. Just kidding, girl. you know I love you lots.

So, remember you guys how I decided to keep my blog current rather than just random and began commenting on hit tv shows and crucial and current news stories: Do you remember?
Well, I plan on keep up with that as I think I'm averaging a few more hits that way but still nowwhere near that becoming the Susan Boyle of bloggdom.

That is why I opened up to you all about my struggles with weight . It's because of the hot news story about United Airlines wanting to charge us fat folks extra. Or as I call myself at times when I am not svelte: A BBW. Hilarious. My gay male hairdress, darrick, cracked up so hard when I told him that I call myelf a big beautiful woman . I think gay men get a particular kick out of sass. I also thing they get more repulsed by corpulence than the average straight person, but I still think I darrick enjoys the moments we get to share when he does my hair.

Well, I could go on as I much time on my hands this morning now that I can't afford the weekly farmers market on tuscadero drive in Tiburon. I'm just at home eating a big bowl of third rate granola and hoping for the best.

talk soon you guys and keep the faith or whatnot.
I don't know yet if I plan to boycott United airlines yet as I still am not sure that fat prejudice is serious enough to warrant boycotting but I do know that I'm already feeling very unloved by the public when I see that so few are joining the boycott. I guess I just have to burn up some more of em calories. Now without a dog to walk and the fact that my kitties are too old to even move from under the sofa, I don't have anyone or anything to chase. I'll figure it out, no pun intendended. LOL. LOL.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This one is my favorite. You are a genius.