Wednesday, July 1, 2009

What was it about Facebook that allowed me to do that?

Oh, that wasn't even Alisa bugging me via assorted communication devices, but her sister. I can't tell those two apart. Turns out that Alisa is sleeping as evidenced by her retarded blog that I won't link you to as I don't support it. She is so obviously obsessed with Oprah and Oprah wouldn't even let her stay in one of her schools if she was an African Orphan whose clitoris was stolen by a Muslim . Alisa is soooo transparent...

I'm reading a strange article in my just out(!)" yoga matt daily""and it's about how a very kewl lady found her center and refocusued two stray chakras after being fired from the advertising biz. She went to all the great schools blah blah, had lifestyle plus and then one day, she had this idea that she tried to pitch as a music video as she was trying to branch out creatively. And, it was this parody of the Anti Drug PDF's or PDA's, what here those Public ... PSA's YES. Anyhoe, it was a parody of those " A mind is a terrible thing to waste" PSAs and it was this TLC video where the last scene had Lisa Left eye Lopes morphing into Jeffrey Dahmer and the last shot has her reaching into a freezer where there's a medium sized package and Lisa Left Eye Lopes is now Dahmer... right... and she reaches for this frozen package and on the screen, " A mind is a terrible thing to taste." and then Lisa Left Eye Lopes is seen eating a brain. Sick. Stupid. But, this was an adverstising exec who had paid more than her share of dues. Still, soon after Lopes died tragically and they blamed it on this adverstising lady and then Music Videos went out of style completely and this womyn's center was very much off kilter, so to speak, after she was disgraced like she was. Needless to say, this happened last decade, but still this womyn really fell to pieces. The really inspiring thing is that she was just about to give up on Yoga and was sure that she'd never meet the right Swami or do the downward dog just right when her last and most important epiphany happened. I'm not sure if epiphany is the right word for it but the article basically discussed how she just "let go" and started supplementing and/or implementing kundalini poses while maintaining an Ashtanga mindframe, and she was much better or even OK.

So, this totally got me inspired for the coming day and the holiday weekend. To be honest, I was bumming out cuz this time last year my fourth of July was already planned and I had a life partner to share it with as well as a new set of Garden Shears. We got together with a bunch of the womyn who shareown the pomegra nite cafe in Petaluma and we BBQ's some squash and Tofu Franks and it was pretty damned Purrfect. I purposesly wrote purrfect as back then my cats weren't caught in a toxic spiral of negativity( Blanche inspired abandonement issues ) This year, it's looking as if it's just me and a Casa Blanca Pinot and two two quart boxes of Ben and Jerry's. One is Cherry Garcia and one will be Rimbaud Raisinet fudge. According the the B and J website, BenandJerry's.com, that flavor is coming out TONITE so that's why I still haven't gotten it yet. I lost those garden shears too . Dang it!!!

I might invite a much caliente barrista that I've been scoping . She works part time ( Monday from 12-3, Tues- 1-6, Wed. 3-8PM and so on) at Java Junos. It's this funky modern sort of upscale hole in the wall that has much caliente.... cofeee. Yep, that's right that's why Tarra wears her androgen laced patchouli there every single time. BIG GRIN. SNERK.

I'll pretend I need her to come by and fix my my latte machine. If she stays then I'll have a boatload of soy appetizers ready for after sex. If the sex goes Tantric ,I'll have to buy an extra tin of altoids. I better get going.

I really don't want to spend this much needed vacation in the dumps so I'm not going to entertain the kinds of hopelessly eroticized sensations that find their way into my soul and mind and hemp panties during these unsure times.

How are you all today, Gays! I've sworn off the patriarchy in a more committed way and can't use the word "guys" so I'm going to use that until I wean myself off of it. Please remind me if I screw up cuz I want to CHANGE. Or is " Geese" a more controversy free way to go? Again, I am totally desirious of feedback.


Dang! The ben and jerry's site is down and it's looking like I'll have to pre-order with a Credit card if this keeps up. I am now paying like triple Usury fees and Dang. Anyone know when that site will be working again.

Please tweet me at TSLove. Newbies welcome as I'm really ANXIOUS!

20 minutes after I began this post and nearly forgot it behind the still dead Ben and Jerry's site.

Alisa is AWAKE! Aaargh. Every since that Super duper Toxic duo made her all banned an banished she's been sending me her terrible jokes. She just IMed me this.... "He was a moonwalking trainwreck whose message t's didn't get the message when..."

Dang. I need to change my numbers the minute our work relationship ENDZ. Then, I better go back to the fake name I used on Myspace but felt compelled to make my real name on FACEBOOK.

bye, gays.

3 comments:

loise said...

Marry me! This blog is friggin amazing.

Rose said...

guest blogger invitation

Hello,

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Tarra Slovan said...

Oh, Hi both. I keep missing these but they sure do cheer me up!

Sure, Rose, I'll bite(not literally!!) What do I do to make that work?